Steering Wheel Blues

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- From The Heart (1)
- Life's Lessons (2)
- Scrambled Eggs (12)
- Steering Wheel Blues (34)
- The Drivers (5)
- Windshield Rants (4)
Recent Rantings
You Talkin’ to Me?!

Heard in the back seat:

“Sorry if I stink a bit. Could you take me to Kolh’s, I need to buy some underwear.”

“Hey Bill, can you take me to the nail place down the street before you take me to work? I need to have my eyebrows trimmed.”

Cabbie: “So why are you going to court?” Fare: They say I robbed a bank.” Cabbie: “Did ya?” Fare: “Can’t say.”

“Take me to Walmart, I’m getting a toe nail fixed.”

Yesterday I was hauling two really drunk guys, Jim and Teddy. Jim says to Teddy, “When I was young I always wanted to go to the moon.” I’m thinking, “You’re almost there.”

"Yeah, I just got out of jail. It was actually nice. I was able to kick back and relax."

"You can't sweat the petty things and you don't pet the sweaty things."

"Uh, could you lower the windows, I think Bubby pooped his pants"

"I work mostly out of town now on account I got ten warrants out for my arrest back home."

"We just finished our training back in Yemen!"

The mechanic looked at me and said apologetically, "Sorry, I forgot to ask you your mileage on account I'm a stoner."

As my eyes watered and my nose burned the guy in the back seat said, "Boy, I can't wait to take a shower!"

As we passed a gal walking down the street one of my female riders said to her friends, "Looks like she had a party in her pants!"

Heard in the back seat, "Ma'am are you comfortable back there?" Lady, "I'm fine, my hot flashes will keep me toasty."

Things a Cab Driver Might Say

So you'd like to go West. Could we narrow that down a bit?

Is that a real snake?

Change? You want change? I mean, real change? You're kidding right?

What! Do I look like a friggin Rand McNally map!

Let me guess ... you thought I worked for free?

So, can you at least name the State where you live? Your name?

Uhh, can I have a little English please?

Nice tattoo ma'am. Now let's put our blouse back on.

Hey thanks for the fifteen cent tip. Ooops, did the door get ya on the hand? Sorry.

So Abdullah, you want the change in nickels or pennies?

You want me to go to Hell? Sorry, I can't pull that up on the GPS.

Can you two unclinch for a second? You owe me $22.95 - the pictures are extra.
What You’re All Saying …
- Connie on Lord Have Mercy
- Mitch on Things Cab Drivers Hate
- Glenda on Christina
- Steve Quinn on The Dark Lord
- JollyGreen Beach on Chicks on a Stick
3 Most Dangerous Places to Drive

Anywhere after 11:00 pm on a Friday night.

A supermarket parking lot on Sunday afternoon.

The Mommy rush hour at 7:30 am. Cell phones, kids and makeup.

Steering Wheel Blues

Categories

Recent Rantings

You Talkin’ to Me?!

Things a Cab Driver Might Say

What You’re All Saying …

3 Most Dangerous Places to Drive